But to live a day again, to change what we did once when..

I've been over to Mama Kat's again and I like the prompts so I'm playing. They all appeal to me, but I am choosing to write on the first prompt. The problem is that I can't narrow it down to just one. I believe a top five list would be in order.

The fifth day I would most like to relive would be a tie. It would be the two days my kids were born into this world. I would love to take more pictures. I would love to make sure that my ex-wife and my family knew just how important those days are to me. My life changed for the better on both those days and I do not regret them happening one bit. I just wish I had been a better man then so I could have done more since then for my kids and our family.

Holding the number four spot down on my list would have to be a whole bunch of days leading up to my 18th birthday. I would love the chance to get my eagle scout award, both for myself and for my dad. I would probably sign straight into the military coming out of high school, too. College would definitely be in my future, but it would have to be double duty with my service to my country.

Third on my list of five would have to be a fateful night back before I met my wife. It was an event which sealed my fate with an ex-girlfriend and a skank who I had no business knowing. I lost the second love of my life that night and set in motion a whole set of other circumstances that, although leading to my fatherhood, also left a path of regret touching a dozen lives. No details, but just say promiscuity is not a good thing.

Three days, three stinking days that have affected my life more than any others. One night at a party, with a friend, I was introduced to the mother of my children. I love my children, but if I could I would have walked away from her then and there. I have lost or had to sacrifice everything I've dreamed of since knowing this woman. Other than giving me our kids and a few pleasant memories, she has been a curse like no other in my life. I am still having to pay penalties for even knowing this woman. I believe in respect and she is due some of that, but if she died tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear for her.

The second day I would like to relive would have to be the day I was married. I showed up way later than I should have, was totally unfocused and had no idea what I was getting myself into for the future. The things I know now haunt me. Not the fact that I am without my wife and kids, but the lack of effort I put into one of the most important days of my life. It is a respect thing and I had very little of it that day.

And the most important day that I would like to relive.......would be the day I decided to leave my home town. I say this, not because I shouldn't have left, but because I moved away from my kids. I lost 6 years with them by running from myself. I can't get them back, but I can move on from there. Now I see them every chance I can and it feels great. Never mind that it interferes with the ex-wife and her new husbands plans, never mind that it costs me every spare dollar I have to travel and support the moments my kids and I steal away from our everyday lives, never mind that I have to sacrifice loads of time from an already hectic schedule, never mind that I can't make up for the six years that I lost by my own choice; they love our time together and so do I. I connect with my son, I share moments with my daughter, we lean on each other and discuss our troubles as well as make some awesome memories. I can even see a difference in the way both are handling the pressures they struggle with at home. I have an impact on their life and it is a positive one. That is my goal and I can see it happening right in front of me. And that makes my day.

My life, my time, my money, my love...are theirs.........unconditionally. All I ask in return is a smile, and I have not been disappointed.

Old Poetry

I have been meaning to post and to write and to read some of your blogs, but I have just been a procrastinator recently. As I surf the web and read some of all of your stuff, I come across things that spur me to action. I post a lot on other writing sites. Pictures, Prose and Poetry is one of them. Although the post is quite old (three weeks), one of the topics there had my interest and I have been meaning to post a reply to it for some time. That time is now. To keep you, my random reader, from having to track down the old poem which I posted in their comments section for a post from three weeks ago; I have re posted the poem here for your distinct reading pleasure.

Note: Only one soul was tortured during the writing of this poem and he will survive. I do not recommend that amateurs try this at home.

Her Kiss

Driving into Travis County, on Interstate 95
It was cold and wet and misty; but it felt great to be alive.
I’d been to Bastrop to see my woman and a kiss was all I got,
And she may not realize it but that kiss sure meant a lot.
Because her kiss is sweeter than any carmel popcorn
And stronger than any dragon that has walked the earth
I wouldn’t trade it for chocolates, money or venison
Anyone who’s had her kiss knows exactly what they’re worth.
But to me that kiss is priceless
And it made my whole world right
Because it reminds me why I stay my course,
Go to work and fight the fight.
Because under overwhelming odds
And obstacles by the score
She puts her kids, family and loved ones first
Even when it brings struggles all the more.
By providing me with that example
In an always cheerful and gracious way
She gently gives me my reminder
To call and tell my kids, "I love you", each day.

stu pidasso
November 14th, 2004

Apology and Update

First, I want to apologize to any and all that found my last Writers' Workshop Assignment offensive. I was just trying to be funny. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Second, I want to congratulate any one who is Irish for the monumental GRAND SLAM WIN over Wales to clinch their first in 61 years. I'll be watching it today with all the boys in the midst of a massive piss up. Guinness, Jameson's and Baileys for every score (that's the makings of an Irish Car Bomb for those who don't know). Even the mighty Jed knows that the Irish have it going on in the Northern Hemisphere!

Other than that, there has been so much going on and so little time to post. Where to start, where to start....? Let's go with the kids.....Spring Break rolled around and I went and got the kids from the evil witch of the east. I had to sneak in and out of Houston, but that was easier than usual, as she was working her corner up in Fort Worth, where her evil pimp "Da Man.....also known as the FBI) is whoring her out lately.

We came back home and I had the entire week off to play with the kids. The son and I made a couple of potato cannons. Forty dollars worth of supplies, call it fifty with the potatoes, and some time invested have produced to high velocity spud launchers. And they work real well!!

The DBW won't allow said son to bring his home, so I made sure he remembered how to build one and that he could scrounge the twenty bucks for supplies. He should have his own built and hidden there soon. Little bugger just needs to keep out of trouble with that thing!!

The daughter had me proof read her latest film screen play, it was really good and we did some brainstorming on it. I think she has plenty of info to draw from in furthering it towards a completed project.

Both have asked about and talked with me about inspirational content in their work. The boy entered his drawing of a phoenix into the local school district art contest and when the judges asked him why he drew what he did, his reply was "Because I think phoenixes are cool." Whereas, some kid who drew an Native American scene won because he wanted to draw attention to the plight of the Native Americans.....or something like that.

Went hunting on a buddies land near Abilene, for feral hogs with the boy. We saw a few deer and one hog as we left. Cold, wet, drizzly rain kept us from going back, but we should have because that is when the hogs showed up. We could have had some shots but next time.

We picked up some new music. Daughter got the new Lily Allen release, son grabbed Linkin Park's second try, and I bought the new Springsteen cd. Made for good listening on the way back home.

Of course, the northern cousins came and joined us as soon as they could. They brought their own potato cannon with them. They had made some upgrades to theirs though. Besides adding an electronic ignition to it, they also retro fitted it with changeable barrels. It now has the ability to have a two inch barrel or an inch and a half barrel....or.....NO BARREL AT ALL!! That's right, we can cast both barrels off a shoot that sonabitch like a freakin' flame thrower!! Is that not effing cool or what!! We even got to roast my idiot brother butt crack with it!! He jumped and offered, the youngest cousin was Johnny on the spot and hit the button before my bro could back out of it!! Four foot long flame broiled ass crack!! I wish I had that on video to post. Hilarity!! This was the same brother who almost sent a high speed spud through one of mom's house windows!! Fluck-Knuckle!!

I also took the kids to the bank and had them meet with a bank rep. I had each invest their savings in CD's. We almost have enough saved to put into their second CD. And with some tight belt, money grubbing discipline, I'll have enough they can buy a third CD before the end of the year. My dad never "made" me learn about this stuff, so I am going out of my way to teach my kids about this stuff. "Hands on" is my favorite approach. I could have done it for them, sure; but that defeats the purpose. I want them to be involved and be involved at an early age.

My sister, The Incredibly Gifted Kathy, has her own webpage for her art now. Check it out!! She is awesome and likes to trade art and ideas with any other artist. She is wicked smart and friendly too!! I hope you like her work as much as I do.

And the last bit of business left to attend to is the fate of the Weekly Caption Contest!! Melissa asked what happened to it and when will it come around again. So I will now start it's eventual reoccurring. It will be bi-monthly and will start in April. I still owe one award and will have to figure out who won that one. I'll post it pretty quickly and we'll go from there.

So until then....Live Hard, Play Rugby, and Die Ugly!!