Would you, my haiku, and much ado about woo hoo

Dull Winter moments-

daily chores wait quietly

as I keep working

by stu pidasso

10March2010

A normal Spring day-
sunshine washes in and out
like ocean tides.

by stu pidasso
10March2010

Summer romances-

cuddling lazily with her

the hammock dances.

by stu pidasso

10March2010

An Autumn cold snap-
blue northern descends on us
as moods turn southward.

by stu pidasso
10March2010



I feel as if I am a passionate person. I am definitely opinionated about certain things, obsessive about others, fixated on a few, mesmerized by a handful, preoccupied with two, and focused on one. Yes, many things spark an interest in me, but there are certain things that do have special places in my life and in my mind.

My children, for instance, are my love. I will do anything I can to help them. If they call, I listen. I won't give them the world, but I'll help them plot and plan how to earn it. I would kill to protect them and give them up willingly to spare them heartache. I punish them to teach them (when I must), yet let them stumble in order for them to grow and learn. I help plant the seeds of their future with them and sacrifice all so that they may flourish and bloom larger and more beautiful than I. I would die for them just so they may live.

My poetry also drives me. I write on a myriad of topics, from the death of my family life, to the addictions that kept me going through my metamorphosis, to the rebirth of myself as a single man committed to helping my kids avoid the mistakes I made, and finally arriving at the worn out old man who just wants to watch the world turn as he waits for his grand kids to visit. I have written about love and hate, condemnation and forgiveness, how to be a man and how to fail as one. I have written silly little love poems and scathing diatribes on why something deserves to die. I have written to and about friends, loves, enemies, strangers and occasional good people who have shared moments of my life.

I enjoy my music daily. Most any music is pleasing to me. I have found pieces of aural pleasantry in near every genre known. And I find that it soothes me, helps me focus when I need to, and it lets me slip away when I need a break. I find inspiration in the words of other poets who have the ability to set their messages to lovely melodies. I believe music is an international form of communication that can transcend any language barrier. I believe it can heal the soul. There is a song for any moment you can experience.

Family affects me everyday. Who we are and what we have become is directly resulting from the family we share our lives with day to day. Good or bad, we are directly influenced by the ones we live among. We are who we came from and our children will be who we are as we pass ourselves along to them and their children. The cycles can be broken and morphed and even righted from a wrong,but the cycles still happen. Anyone who turns their back on their family just ain't no good (Springsteen song).

Love, true love, romantic love, dedicated "die for you" in your time of need love; is my only want. I had it at least thrice and pissed it away all three times. I regret all three instances and can tell you exactly at what point I made all three errors (in my mind). I think I understand now, and I feel I am ready. I'm not settling and I'm not giving up, but when she presents herself to me in my little world....we'll know it. And I will strive to be an obedient student, focused on learning lesson upon lesson concerning how to treat her right to help us be the best people and friends we can be. I will strive to share with her an enjoyment in each and every day to its fullest extent. I will strive to be a steady rock for her, that we may hold onto each other no matter how harsh the storm or brutal the weather we must endure. I will not stop trying to respect her enough to know when to say yes and to respect myself enough to know when to say no. I don't know if she will ever find me or I her, but if we do, I know what I am NOT going to do and that is take her or our love for granted again. Life is a journey and it is so much more fun when you are travelling with someone you enjoy being near.

Misinterpreted misrepresentations to get misconstrued by missuses!

I wrote a poem and put together a slide show for a fellow blogger who has a great blog and weaves wonderful descriptions of what she is dealing with in her life. I like reading what she has to say, because a lot of what she is going through in her life mirrors mine. I empathize. I sympathize. I try to rationalize and come to grips with my own struggles by learning from others, and she has good things to say about her own struggles. It is inspiring. It is entertaining. It is relaxing.

But unfortunately, I think that what I did freaked her out a bit. I get the impression that she is teetering on whether to be flattered that a cyber stranger can channel so much emotion into something for someone they have never met or that she has a full blown cyber stalker on her hands and doesn't know how far over the edge I may have gone.

Funny? No, no, cute? Nah, um, hilarious? No. Not quite sure how to feel about it, but I do know that I don't want her or anyone else freaked out about it.

Let me assure anyone out there reading this and following any part of this that I am not a stalker. I am a writer, a hopeless romantic, a father trying to come to grips with not having his ex-wife and children around and an otherwise normal person who likes to read and learn new things.

If anyone is entertaining the idea that I am going to travel across the country to profess my undying love to a person with which I have never had a single spoken word or share any resemblance of a common life, you are mistaken. I sure the heck am not going to anywhere the temperatures drop to below zero degrees Fahrenheit! And although I am in the market for a good woman, which I consider her to be, I am not one to put my faith 100 percent into the concept of love at first sight. I know that the only way to culture a loving, committed relationship is through getting to know someone over time. Words come cheap, actions speak volumes. How does one find it possible to be romantically in love with another who you have no history shared? Are their people out there who still believe this myth, that someday you are going to meet that one that will last forever and you will know it on the spot? Is their predetermined fate and if we wait long enough that God (or a higher power of your choice) will reward you with a spontaneous burst of devotion in the form of another person?

Maybe, but I am not buying into it.

As a writer (and hopeless romantic), I find my muse in different things and people from time to time. The fact that I have poured how I wish I had kept feeling about my ex-wife and how I hope to feel about another woman someday into this one poem for someone who I feel deserves to be treated that way is just me writing to my current muse. The slide show was a means for me to show her that I like the way she smiles and that all the feelings she (and all of us really) has to be desirable and that she is missing something in her life is not unfounded. The fact that she has multiple men on hand, spending time with her, where she lives, building memories and chemistry with her and her boys should say it all. Men want to share your life and it is okay to share back with them and if you chose one lucky one or none at all, that you are going to be okay, but that you shouldn't settle for anything less than true devotion if you do choose another man to share your life.

I will never commit to another relationship (a lasting marriage I hope) unless I feel that feeling, and if I have any reservations about it at all, I AM OUT OF THERE. And I don't mean "tire track leaving" peeling out out of there (I don't ever want to shred another person's heart again by any action of mine), but in a calm, civil, polite, tender manner.

I want to be in love again, but I am no fool. I know it doesn't happen at the snap of the fingers. It takes time and patience to establish the kind of trust to build upon for a life time of devotion. And that isn't going to happen over the Internet.

To all my bloggy friends out there, I appreciate you sharing, I am enthralled by all the drama that we are all experiencing, and I appreciate the chance to better my own life through your life lessons. I may even write something or create something out of the feelings I get from reading/watching the glimpses of your lives you share with us, but that doesn't mean I am entertaining the idea of anything more than some good entertainment in my down time. I am not crazy, stupid or foolish; but I don't mind telling you all what I think when I find the artistic impulses to put those feelings into the things I create, namely my poetry.

Do I have enough for another ticket?

The Carousel

I think love like a carousel, goes round.

Lord knows it has got it's ups and downs.

With rainbow lights flashing and music blaring,

those with no tickets, are left jealously glaring.

It matters not which mount you ride.

For love, indiscriminately, will abide.

Even if you chose but to stand along,

love mesmerizes with sights and song.

But if in line you spend your time,

you'll get your chance to feel sublime.

Buy your ticket and climb on in,

and love will take you for a spin.

And should the carnival ride cease to turn,

forcing you off and leaving you to yearn,

you have but to buy a ticket still

and love will grace you with another spill.

As for me, the merry-go-round spun in 3D

whirling and twirling me gyroscopically;

head over heals, my noggin reeling,

ejecting me earthbound with dizzy feeling.

I lost my balance and lost my way

and found myself ruing that fateful day

that I had even climbed aboard.

What was I thinking? Why me, Lord?

But once the queasiness had passed

I realized why I had lost the lass.

And standing outside looking in,

I wonder if I should dare ride again.

by stu pidasso

23July2009